The End of Childhood doesn't seem so disappointing any more

Just a quick post to further my celebrations at the moment, as I've just got a letter giving me an offer to Cambridge to do French and German at Girton College! Today is definitely a good day :D

Obviously, I still need to get the grades first (A*AA), but wherever I go I'm sure that this blog will carry on regardless.

The world truly is a great place, and I wish joy unto you all! (Yes, fine, I have had a couple of swigs of vodka).

Farewell!

The Gent
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Food, Wine and Animal Torture: My Christmas

(In order to read the writing in this post, please click Read More! at the bottom of the post. Otherwise you will view just the first paragraph and all the pictures)


No, don't worry, neither of those large presents were for me. One was a giant under-the-car-bumper lamp thing (!) for my sister's boyfriend, and the other was a food processor for her.


So yes, I thought I'd tell you a bit about Christmas chez moi.


Normally I'm rather disappointed with our Christmas dinner. We always have MASSIVE Sunday roasts each week, but because we usually have 10-12 people at Christmas, the portions become smaller, and I am less satisfied with the quality of our repas. However, this year the portions were much more sizable as my uncle's side of the family didn't come, my grandparents were ill, my great aunt was scared to leave the house because of ice, and another family member's in prison. Hallelujah! Ahem...




So yes, as there were only the five of us (me, Mum, Dad, sister and sister's boyfriend), we had a nice quiet day of massive portions, lots of wine and cruel abuse of our two dogs.


So, the meal:

The food begins being piled up...

Then a bit more...

Finishing touches...

Voila!

After dinner, we decided to entertain ourselves with some routine humiliation of our pets. My sister's boyfriend tried to get a photo of our Beagle with a Santa's hat on. Needless to say this task became increasingly difficult, as the poor thing didn't particularly enjoy having a piece of itchy fabric held against his head:

Get this thing off of me!                   Get that camera out of my face!               Oh, well, if you must...

One day, master, I will kill you. Slowly and painfully.

Then we tried the same on our other dog:

NO! GET IT OFF OF ME! YOU MONSTER! I'LL BITE YOU! I SWEAR I WILL THIS TIME! Oh...fine then.

Ow, stop grabbing the back of my neck, I won't go anywhere, I promise!

Ooh yes, and earlier on in the day I lay the table:

What, I'm not aloud to boast? It's my blog!

And finally, at the end of a long day, it was time to have a nap.

My dad wrapped up on a chair in his blanket:

My dismembered headless father

And my dog more conventionally went to sleep in front of the fire:

We beat her till she lay sobbing on the floor, a shadow of her former self...
Think animal abuse jokes are insensitive? Tough.

Hope you enjoyed these photos of what may be the last Christmas of my childhood (hey, I have to link this post to my blog's theme somehow).


Farewell!


The Gent
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Greetings World!

Dear Readers,

To me, the idea of writing a blog or even a diary used to seem like a time-consuming waste of time. They were the reserve of only those who had feelings and problems to vent out to the world, not work-obsessed, emotionless, cold-hearted bastards like me (my old form tutor’s words [except the bastard bit], not mine). Why spend time writing about stuff when you can be living it?

Why did I change my tune, then? Well, basically I have recently started reading a blog that one of my best friends for the last few months writes (C.J. – Verbal Abuse), and now the magnificent Dana Umlaut (part-time BF, part-time close sister, sometimes part-time wife) has also started one (It Is All About M.E.). And I now recognise that they can be useful tools for organising thoughts, and talking freely and anonymously about things. Plus it’s a New Year, New Start, “New Me” etc. etc. 

Also, I want to prove to myself that I can do things that aren’t about A-levels or university. Am I capable of talking about feelings/emotions? Do I even have any? Am I even a normal human being? Is work my life? Am I a control-freak? Is work what really matters in life, or are people and friends more important? (Surely not?)

So a tiny little bit about me. I’m an 18-year old college student from Berkshire, England, and I study French, German, English Literature and Maths at a sixth-form college in Hampshire. I like swimming, travelling, reading, Doctor Who, Italian food, the Radio Times, the BBC, Greek yoghurt, polite people and Radio 4. I am happy with life.

I believe that I am a bit of an observer. I love watching people, seeing how they act and interact. For me, the best photos aren’t those with people posing, but those where the people there aren’t even aware that a camera is present (I did just re-read that, and I realise that makes me sound like a bit of a creep). So some of the things I’m going to write about are other people/situations. Not necessarily friends, maybe random strangers. Like the weird man with hip-length blonde hair and leather jacket who walks round Wokingham smiling. Or the plump small woman who gets the same train as me and always eats Mini Cheddars. Or the mean but impossibly handsome train conductor, who is quite possibly the most terrifying man in his 20s who ever lived – imagine the looks of Daniel Craig, the terrorizing gaze of Voldemort, the voice of Alan Rickman, the boyish charm of Zac Efron and the maniacal behaviour of the John Simm-Master.

I also love TV, especially BBC dramas. Victorian/wartime costume dramas, BBC4 biopics and slow-moving foreign-language crime dramas are amongst my favourites. So I’ll probably write about those a fair bit as well. And possibly, if you’re very lucky, the odd book as well.

I might even talk about family a little bit, specifically the Major Crisis that has been at the centre of mine for the last couple of years (a long and complicated story that I don’t fully understand involving numerous prisons, £20 million, and cannabis imported from the Netherlands).

Finally, this is quite a big year for me. The year that I finish A-levels, leave college and go off to university. The year that, finally, I might say goodbye to childhood. A long process that so far has involved leaving secondary school, travelling round Africa for a month, crying at the end of Toy Story 3, and the dreadful realisation that, very soon, I shall have to do adult things, like get a job and buy people Christmas presents and learn to drive (*shudder*).

So that’s all from me for now. See you soon, and I hope you all enjoy what’s coming!

Farewell!

The Gent (an alias created for me courtesy of C.J.)

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