The Era of Dana Chapter I - New Beginnings

It all started on my second day at college. I walked up the steps to the Annexe, where my first A-level German lesson was to be. I’d made sure I was a few minutes early, of course. I stepped round the corner, and pushed open the heavy doors. Standing just inside, leaning against the wall next to the door to Languages 4, was a girl, looking down at the floor. She had shortish blonde hair, and a friendly face. She gave me a brief smile, and looked back to her feet. Looking around at the wall, I saw a couple of dated German movie posters, and a couple of old chairs. Standing parallel to this girl, I also leant back against the wall, before glancing out of the corner of my eye to her.




Within 20 seconds, another couple of people arrived. Then, our teacher arrived, a cheerful, young woman who shuffled to the door, beamed at us saying ‘Hello!’, then unlocked the door to let us in. The blonde girl was the first to follow her in, and I, on the prowl for someone in the class to latch onto, swept in after her. I followed her around the U-shaped desks right round to the front of the room, and sat next to her. Neither of us said a word. A quiet girl sat to my other side, and timidly said hello. The lesson started.

Little did I know it, but that day was the beginning of one of the most whirlwind and powerful friendships of my life. That was the day everything would begin to change. That was the day my life turned mad.

The first few weeks of the new term went by, and I started talking more to both the girls I sat with. They were both friendly yet quiet, and all three of us interacted kindly yet cautiously. The blonde girl intrigued me. She seemed sweet, giggly, and she played and twiddled with her hair an awful lot.

The blonde girl was Dana Umlaut.

The weeks went by. My birthday came and went. Eventually, we started talking more outside of classes, and this kind girl and I slowly became acquaintances. I should point out that it usually takes quite a while before I consider someone a friend. Most of my friends tend to remain acquaintances for months before I would dare label them as “friend”. However, Dana managed the transition in approximately two months.

By early November, I began to grow anxious about this girl. We were getting better friends, but there was something that I feared. I’d been going to an all-boys school up until a few months before, and therefore had generally not had any female friends for many years. In fact, I’d never really enjoyed having female company on the rare occasion that I’d had to. And I eventually realised that I was no longer in junior school. I was at sixth-form college. Mixed-gender friendships would surely now have a different dynamic. What I feared, like nothing else, was that one day she might ask me out.

Now, most of the time I thought this fear was unfounded. After all, she had a boyfriend. And I was hardly acting flirtatiously with her.

It was just the damned hair-twiddling that worried me. And the rest of our German class was becoming convinced that we were sleeping together. Every lesson we would have to put up with the constant sniggers and comments. And every time such a comment was made, she would blush and look sideways at me to see my reaction, and I’m certain I would look embarrassed in spite of myself. No wonder they thought something was going on. My old school friends were also noticing me spending time with her. Comments of ‘Get in there Joe!’, ‘How is she in bed?’, and ‘How’s your new shag?’ were commonplace.

So, eventually, enough was enough. I had to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that I would never be interested in having a girlfriend. That any girl interested in me would be barking up the wrong tree. So, by the first week of November (just quick-referencing with my old diary), I’d decided to tell her.

It would be another month before I would. One fateful Friday, I went out with one of my old friends to meet her and a couple of other friends near where we go to college. He had brought a bottle of vodka, and when we met up with Dana he gave her the bottle of vodka to stuff into her tiny black clutch bag. He went off to sort some stuff out (I can’t remember what now).

We were under a bus stop. She got up from the bench to put the bottle in her bag, and then started texting. I stared at her, waiting for the words to come up my throat. Cars and vans hurtled by. I would need to raise my voice. It was already dark, and the only light was coming from the reflection of the car lights off of the white advert on the side of the bus stop. Her eyes glanced up at me as she was texting, and then back down to her phone.

“Dana?”

“Yes?” She carried on texting.

Pause.

“I’m gay.”

The texting stopped. Her hair covered her eyes, but I imagined they had widened and gone blank. Her body was still. The sound of traffic vanished into the background. I stared at her, not moving a muscle or saying a word.

Silence.

“Oh.” She stared blankly at her phone.

Pause.

“I’m bi.”

She glanced up for the briefest of seconds, then looked down and resumed texting.

“Oh,” I replied blankly, “cool.”


Silence.

To be continued...

It would be another month before I learned what was going through her head that night.

I had barely begun to scratch the surface of this magnificent, marvellous and mysterious young woman. In the coming months, further developments would push us closer and closer together. And, after sixth months of friendship with her, I would eventually begin meeting her friends. And what followed was the start of a new life, and a new me.

But those are other stories, for another day...


Farewell!


The Gent
x
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The "Corridor Crew" - A Cast List

So, according to my 'Mission Statement' I need to write more about people in my life. I am still cautious that writing about friends may not be particularly engaging for any non-members reading, but hopefully my friends may give you an insight into me and my life. And maybe describing them in a humorous manner may make the experience more pleasurable/bearable for you.


(Quick apologies to Dama Umlaut, who is indeed going to get a blog entry of her very own very soon. Alas, it is still not quite finished, so you'll have to wait another week. What's that? You don't want to wait any longer? Tough, I want it to be perfect.)

So I'm beginning with my closest group of friends, who were christened several months ago by CJ as the "Corridor Crew", named thus because we inhabit a corridor at college at lunches and breaks. 

It's very rare for me to have a whole group of friends where I genuinely like every single member individually. But with this lot I do. Whatever drama unfolds (and good God there's a ridiculous amount of drama), I never feel inclined to take sides, such is my strength of feeling for every single one. Everyone is genuinely nice, everyone has a unique spark of brilliance about them, no-one is fake. And, most importantly for me, they are all very strong characters, most of whom wouldn't take any shizzle from anybody. 

So, in alphabetical order by pseudonym so as to avoid any conflicts (the pseudonyms used may be different to those used on CJ's and Dana Umlaut's blogs, because quite frankly I want my own), and presented in the style of a wildlife documentary purely for my own amusement, I would like to introduce you to a few friends of mine:

Cap'n Jack 

One of the few males of the pride. Holds the very great honour of being "Doctor Who buddy". In a long-term relationship with Little Red Riding Hood since three years ago. Enjoys telling me I'm "too posh" to be around him. Believes that I once said that his hair repulses me, when in reality I NEVER SAID THAT!! (I actually said, whilst drunk, that I may consider it a turn-off [I was joking, obviously. Cough.]). Also got offended when I complained that he was "too heavy" after a wrestling match, and now believes that I think he's fat. Will never let me forget these two supposed "insults" for as long as I live. Also dislikes whenever I use my hands to make quotation marks around things when I'm speaking, hence why I have used so many in this entry.

CJ

Member of both my English Literature class and my German class. Suspected of occasional lesbian tendencies involving Dana Umlaut. Furthermore, she has also recently had close liaisons with G-Unit. An accomplished linguist, and writer, and artist. Once lived in the Arab Emirates, and speaks Arabic. As well as learning German, she also studies Spanish. Creative and funny. Often spotted wearing a beret. Writer of the marvelous blog Verbal Abuse.

Dana Umlaut

Impulsive, flirtatious, both tough-as-nails and lovingly soft. Loves women. Loves men. An amalgamation of every single personality trait known to man. She is like all the best people I have ever known, merged into one (larger-than-life) being for extra convenience. For more information about this highly dangerous, yet difficult to resist being, stay tuned for a blog entry coming soon.

G-Unit

Intrepid photographer. Occasionally known to display characteristics described as "blokey". Usually seen in checked shirt and jeans. Looks stunning with straightened hair, and wonderfully individual with scruffy sprawling hair. Rather likes Mcfly. Likes women and round-faced/feminine-faced men.

Lara Croft

Named such due to her stunning physique and curves, and her massive walking boots. Secretly an object of desire for several members of the pack. In the opinion of myself and others, she is kind, cute and lovely. However, she warns us that in reality she's a bitch. We have yet to see much of that side of her.

Lillith

One of the quieter members of the group, unless she has consumed three shots of vodka. Originates from Essex. Gives the impression of being cheerful and shy, but warns us often of her previous personality. Close friends with Señora Evelina.

Little Red Riding Hood

Kind, polite and caring, but also capable of more fiery tendencies. Together with Cap'n Jack forms the Power Couple of the group. Often spotted wearing a distinctive red coat. Has a laugh that makes me smile, and has rosy red cheeks when amused/embarrassed. Do not anger, as she is brilliantly formidable when provoked. When left unprovoked though, she is delightfully pleasant. Plays the clarinet.

Little Miss Sunshine

Named such due to her similarity in appearance to the laughing Sun off the Teletubbies whenever she laughs. One of the more feminine members of the group, and likes Robert Pattinson, Glee and Mcfly. Occasional victim to teasing from myself and Lara Croft. Currently faking a pregnancy and saying that I'm the father. She's lying, by the way. ETA Little Miss Sunshine has since pointed out that she has in fact only watched 2 episodes of Glee. I apologise for any misconceptions I may have created about her.

Madame Jouve

Member of my French class, often to be seen clad in purple woolly clothing. Of the Corridor Crew, probably one of my personal favourite specimens, and one of the three with whom I spend the most time talking/laughing. Recently embarked on 30-day French Grammar course recommended by me. Very happy and contented, and emanates little drama. Often sticks feet out in front of her in the corridor, and should therefore be counted as a tripping hazard. Once resided in France. Enjoys accounting and French films, and works part-time in a bead shop. A rare example of a completely heterosexual female in the pack.

River Song

Holds the important honour of being my first female Doctor Who buddy. Often seen carrying art folders. The type of person who I imagine lives life to the full. Resilient and strong. Distinguishable by her short black hair, and retro head-phones. Shall be one of the three attendees at the Doctor Who Party that me, her and Cap'n Jack are planning.

Señora Evelina

Another acclaimed linguist, speaking Czech and Spanish. Fellow citizen of my hometown (unlike other members of the group who reside a whole hour's drive away). Confident, assured and composed. Possible future career in Law. Old primary school friend who I was reunited with last year. Originates from the Czech Republic. 

There are numerous others, and indeed the group does successfully recruit new members on a regular basis. However, these are probably the main players in my life at the moment. If others rise to prominence in my mind/heart, then they shall of course be added without due haste.

The collective lives of our group could easily fuel a daily soap opera. Actually, if there was a soap opera based on our lives, people would criticise it for being too eventful and unrealistic. The dating chart for our group looked more like a diagram used to explain nuclear fusion.

But despite all of that, they are wonderful. I am genuinely saddened by the fact that in a few months I won't be able to see them every day, and am certain that I shall want to stay close to them in my future life.

"A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably."

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."

Farewell!

The Gent

x


p.s. Coming next time, a profile of my friendship with Dana Umlaut. Then, after that, some more friends whom are not members of the Corridor Crew (although no less interesting). And then, back to other stuff about life and me me me. 


p.p.s. I apologise for the use of the word "shizzle". It shall not happen again.

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